Don’t eat this if you don’t want to feel like a fucking superhero.

This is a strong open, I know, but I mean it. This salad, if you eat enough of it, see, will instantaneously skyrocket you into all kinds of superhero activities: playing with the cat, lifting children out of wells, saving pretty girls, catching the perfect wave, getting free froyo, whatever.

I got the recipe years ago from a favorite famous home cook, Nigella Lawson. It’s roughly how she arranges it, but I tweaked it a bit and made it even less fussy as she. And it’s not even so much a recipe as a directive to put all these items in one big bowl and go at it like a fox attacking a chicken.

I usually only make this when I’m alone; as you can imagine, from my description, it can get a bit grim. It’s just soooo good. It’s amazing. You don’t want anyone around. You don’t want any judgement on how voraciously you’re eating, and you certainly don’t want to share.

Here goes!!

One pita pocket, flat bread, large piece of baguette, naan. Fattoush is generally a salad with stale or unleavened bread as a base with whatever herbs and vegetables on it you desire. ANYWAY, I usually use a pita, and toast it in the oven to get it all crispy and awesome while I assemble the rest.

Bunch of crunchy lettuce. Romaine, butter, iceberg, even cabbage. Whatever blows your hair back. But I’d do romaine.

1 whole avocado, chunkily scooped out and into the bowl

Handful cilantro, chopped or ripped up 

Handful mint, chopped or ripped

1 or 2 green serrano peppers, whatever level of spiciness you’re up for. PRO TIP: this smaller the serrano, the hotter, usually. I use one medium one because I can’t be bothered to de-seed. 

1 Small bunch scallions, washed and sliced thinly, well into the pale green part of the stalk. 

Juice from one big juicy lime, or two small tough ones, limes are disquietingly dry sometimes. 

Couple tablespoons extra virgin olive oil and kosher salt to taste

Really, there’s no instruction here. Try to get everything mouth-sized, because that makes it easier, but also not a big whoop. I would say the best tip would be to dress all the lovely pale greens of the lettuce and herbs and scallions and peppers with the lime juice and olive oil, THEN break up the pita into the salad THEN toss all together, this keeps the bread from getting soggy. But really. Put it all into a bowl and eat it, alone preferably. If you must share, use nice plates. Otherwise, go hell for leather on this gorgeous thing.






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